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Hi Reader,

Happy November!

I guess it's time for retailers to start putting out their Easter merchandise. Crazy, right?

Today, I have a story for you.

Enjoy... ;)
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🏄‍♂️ Surfing Through Stress

Ethan was the kind of guy who made success look easy, at least from the outside. He ran a fast-growing business, had a beautiful family, and a calendar so packed that even his meditation app sent him stress notifications.

But inside, Ethan was drowning.

The constant grind of running his company, the pressure to keep clients happy, and the uneasy silence at home when he brought his stress to the dinner table. It was wearing him down.

He couldn’t sleep. He worried about money even when things were going well. And that voice in his head, the one that whispered “You’re not doing enough,” never seemed to shut up.

So, when a friend suggested he take a break and go surfing in Maui, Ethan laughed. “Surfing? Dude, I don’t have time for that."

But something in him, the part that was tired and ached for change, decided he might need something 'radical' to take control of the storm in his head.

🌊 Morning Wipeouts

His first morning on the beach looked like a scene from a postcard—golden sand, turquoise waves, and a breeze that felt like redemption.

Then came the reality check.

He dragged the surfboard into the water, paddled for what felt like an eternity, and tried to stand up. For one glorious second, he was on top of the world.

Then, SPLASH! Down he went, swallowing half the Pacific Ocean in a single gulp.

He tried numerous more times, pushing himself to step up and get this done. But the more energy and drive he put in, the faster he seemed to fly off that board.

After hours of 'failing' and 'embarrassing himself,' Ethan felt exhausted. He surfaced from another miserable attempt, gasping and sputtering as the waves thrashed him around like a toy.

When Ethan finally caught his breath, he grimaced and exclaimed, "This is supposed to be f-king relaxing!"

Suddenly, a voice called out from nearby, startling him:
“Not bad for the first day.”

Ethan turned to see a woman in her late 40s, floating on her surfboard, smiling with confidence as if she somehow knew exactly what he was thinking.

"You call that not bad?" he said, wiping salt water from his eyes. Kira laughed. "You didn't die. That's a win." Then she smiled broadly, not mockingly or judgmentally, but more in a "I've been there" way.

Kira was a successful serial entrepreneur who provided surfing lessons to recharge her batteries and pass on lessons she had learned from surfers many years earlier.

🧘‍♀️ The Lesson Beneath the Waves

Ethan respected her business accolades and admired the easy-going manner in which she seemed to approach life. But Kira was quick to acknowledge that she didn't start that way. "It's not how you start, but how you finish that matters most," she'd say.

Although Ethan did not like showing weakness, he figured the smart move was to hire someone who could help him ride at least one wave while he was there.

As the hours passed, Ethan continued to fall into the ocean. At first, Kira seemed to observe him failing, which he did not appreciate.

By late afternoon, Ethan was clinging to his board as if shipwrecked. He hadn't managed to stay on that board for more than five seconds without plunging back into the sea.

When he finally "gave up," Kira paddled next to him and said, “You know, surfing isn’t about balance. It’s about learning to rebalance.”

Ethan frowned. “I’m not sure I follow.”

She leaned back on her board. “When you lose balance, what do you do? You overcorrect. You tense up. That’s what people do in life, too. They grip harder when things feel uncertain. It doesn't matter if it's with your business, money, or with your wife. The more we try to control everything, the more you tense up, which causes the tumble.”

That resonated because this was precisely what he’d been doing his entire life. Always trying to find a way to take control. Why? Because most of the time growing up, he felt out of control and unsafe.

🌪 When the Ocean Mirrors the Mind

By the end of the second day, Ethan fell hard and hit his head on the board. Angrily, he shouted, “Why can’t I get this right?” as he punched the waves.

Kira paddled over calmly and said, “That’s the real wave you’ve been fighting Ethan. Not this one.”

He glared at her. “What the hell does that mean?”

“The part of you that believes you’re not good enough unless everything goes perfectly. The part that learned a long time ago that love and safety had to be earned.”

Her words hit him like a cold current. He thought about growing up with a father who never said, "I'm proud of you." About teachers who praised his grades, but never his effort. About the belief he'd subconsciously built, if I mess up, I will lose love.

“That’s the program running your life,” she said softly. “You didn’t choose it. You absorbed it. But now you get to decide if you still want to keep it.”

☀️ Reprogramming the Beliefs

That night, Ethan sat on the sand, staring at the horizon. He realized that he’d built his life on the belief that control equals safety. But in trying to control everything, he’d lost the ability to feel safe anywhere.

So he decided to try something different. "What do I really want to feel? I mean, if beliefs are just opinions and I have the right to believe whatever I want about myself, what would I rather believe instead of needing to be in control all the time?"

"Well," Ethan thought to himself, "I'd like to know that I'm safe and loved no matter what. That others love me and I don't have to earn it or prove my worthiness. And that, I love me."

At that moment, it was as if a heavy anchor tied around his heart broke free. Ethan felt lighter inside, and for the first time in a long time, he relaxed back and smiled.

The next morning, when Ethan fell off the board, instead of cursing himself, he laughed. When a wave knocked him sideways, he thought, “Okay, that’s feedback." When his board drifted away, he reminded himself, “This is how I learn and I love me anyway.”

For the first time, he wasn't fighting the water. He was flowing with it. Upgrading his beliefs and embracing self-love didn't stop the waves from coming in and out. However, it did allow Ethan to embrace them with grace, and that completely altered the experience. It felt more joyful.

Because he finally relaxed, the advice Kira provided suddenly kicked in, and Ethan was able to stay on the board for a couple of runs. He was by no means good at surfing. Yet, it still felt like a huge victory for those few times when he got to the shallows still on the board.

🌊 The Wise Surfer’s Secret

On his last day, Ethan asked Kira, “So how did you learn to stop fighting everything?” She smiled. “I stopped trying to fix myself and started understanding myself instead.

You can't change what you don't acknowledge. I had to face my old beliefs —the ones that said I wasn't enough, that things always went wrong, and that I had to hold it all together. Those weren't mine to begin with. I inherited them from the adults around me in my childhood. Once I saw that, I decided to consciously choose more empowering perspectives now that I'm the adult."

Then she said something he’d never forget:

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🧭 Lessons for Surfing Through Life

When Ethan flew home, he didn’t just bring back sand in his shoes. He returned with peace in his heart, realizing that life wasn’t about avoiding (or controlling) the waves, but learning how to ride them with gratitude and a playful spirit.

Here are the lessons he took with him (and you can, too):

1. Your challenges are not punishment, they’re feedback.​
   Life reveals what needs healing by repeating what you refuse to face.
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2. You didn’t choose your beliefs, but you can upgrade them. As a child, you absorbed the rules that kept you safe. As an adult, you get to rewrite them.
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3. Falling isn’t failing, it’s training.​
   Every setback is strengthening your emotional balance. If you continue to fall, it's the ocean trying to help you realize that you need to address the subconscious currents in your life, so the undertow doesn't drown you.
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4. You can’t out-control your fears, but you can outgrow them.​
   You won't find peace by conquering the outer world; you'll find it when mastering your inner world.
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5. The ocean doesn’t hate you.​
   Life’s not against you. It’s your greatest teacher, showing you where to soften, let go, and rise again.
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If you're exhausted from trying to hold it all together, it's time to stop trying to control the current and start learning from it.

Because sometimes, the biggest breakthrough comes not when you conquer the wave, but when you trust that you can float.

:) Tim

Tim Shurr, MA
​President, Shurr Success, Inc.​
Founder, Indy Hypnosis Centers​
877-944-HOPE ​
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PS, If you enjoyed this story, please reply and share the insights or revelations you experienced while surfing through it. Your replies are the highlight of my day. Totally, dude...

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